


I did it for you

by ThatsrightZoeyeyye



Series: NaNoWriMo 2019 (but i'm cheating a little bit) [1]
Category: Firebringer - Team StarKid, StarKid Productions RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Happy Ending, I'm writing this for firebringer week of starkid rewind, Jemilla and Zazzalil are cute okay, Okay part 2 bc this got out of hand :, Sorreh, and I hope you have fun reading it!, and Keeri will be there too, anyway i think there isn't enough jazzalil around here, because why not, but I'm having fun writing it, but all the others will probably not appear, but i haven't written in a really long while, enjoy !, everyone is super gay, i love those, it's fluff with a happy ending, kind of, last time i wrote fanfiction it was 2016, man what a year, okay that's byeee, queer, so here i come, still Jazzalil, there's gonna be a bit of angst but i'm not sure i can call it that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-04-23 10:58:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19149646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatsrightZoeyeyye/pseuds/ThatsrightZoeyeyye
Summary: Summer camp was going to be fun, Zazzalil thought. She was going to spend two whole months at the Tribe, with her best friend in forever, Keeri, and a bunch of hopefully cool people. There was absolutely no reason this could go wrong. She'd read the description on the internet. Molag, a black queer woman, had decided that she wanted to bring LGBTQ+ kids together in the summer, so they could feel less alone than she had. Molag seemed fun. Molag seemed tough. Molag seemed smart Molag seemed everything Zazzalil aspired to be.There was also Jemilla.Jemilla was eighteen, pansexual, gorgeous, with great hair, great clothes, everything ! She was also incredibly smart. She appointed herself as the leader of the tribe, and didn't let anyone unpack before she called a meeting to organize the summer. If they were going to be left on their own for two months, with no adults except at the entrance, they should have a plan. Zazzalil immediately decided that Jemilla was kind of annoying.





	1. Summer Camp

Summer camp was going to be fun, Zazzalil thought. She was going to spend two whole months at the Tribe, with her best friend in forever, Keeri, and a bunch of hopefully cool people. There was absolutely no reason this could go wrong. She'd read the description on the internet. Molag, a black queer woman, had decided that she wanted to bring LGBTQ+ kids together in the summer, so they could feel less alone than she had. Molag seemed fun. Molag seemed tough. Molag seemed smart. Molag seemed everything Zazzalil aspired to be.

As a lesbian of color, things hadn't really been easy for her. With her unusual name, recklessness, and constant need to be right, she'd had a hard time making friends. Keeri was the only one who'd ever stuck around. She liked Zazzalil, admired her. She wasn't exactly a genius, but they liked each other's company, and it was enough. Keeri was Zazzalil's best friend.

In the bus, with Keeri fast asleep, Zazzalil started to doubt. What if the Tribe wasn't what she expected it to be ? What if nobody liked her ? What if they decided that, because Keeri was aromantic and asexual, she didn't belong there ? That could happen, many people didn't think they should be a part of the community. What if she fell for a girl who didn't like her back ? So many things could go wrong …

All her worries faded away when she reached the place. The bus had stopped at the edge of a beautiful forest, with trees that seemed to reach the sky. The air smelled like the purest form of nature : the scent of the trees, the flowers, the earth. A light wind blew, and the sun warmed her skin just lightly. A few dozen teenagers emerged from different buses, tired from the trip. Some parents had driven their kids directly there. All had a smile on their face.

Everyone was going towards a small hut just at the edge of the trees, with every flag she could think of painted on the walls. Several adults stepped outside to welcome the children, arms full with piles of documents and boxes of keys. After Molag gave a heartwarming speech, the organizers announced that they were going to be in groups of eight to ten, each with its own hut and a large area to have fun. The place was gigantic.

Carrying bags for two months away from home, for a whole mile, in a forest, as it turned out, was not easy. She also had to help Keeri, who wasn't as strong as Zazzalil was, which did not make it easier. When they reached the “hut”, Zazzalil thought she was dreaming. It was way bigger than she'd imagined. It was a round wooden building, with a large bedroom with ten beds, desks and closets, a cosy-looking bathroom with both a bath and a shower (Zazzalil, who had always lived in lousy apartments in cheap neighborhoods, didn't know it was possible), a very equipped kitchen, and a beautiful round table with old wooden chair.

The place looked so comfortable Zazzalil thought she could stay forever. She was away from her mother (whom she had miraculously managed to convince that this camp was to help her get better at school), in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by nature, with the closest cishet person 18 miles away. There was no wifi, but Keeri had unlimited data and had promised to share with everyone.

There were nine people in her hut, all of different ages. Zazzalil and Keeri were seventeen. Sharen, sixteen, would most likely be called a disaster lesbian on tumblr. She was hilarious, very clumsy, and affectionate. She hated her name, and insisted that everyone had always called her Schwoopsie, and that they all should too. Tiblyn was a 13-year-old polyromantic girl, adorable, and probably too nice for her own good. Sebastian's first words to everyone were “hey guys, my balls smell”. It turned out it was a dare from his boyfriend, but Zazzalil refused to let it slide. She was also kind of jealous that he was fourteen years old, gay, and in a happy relationship, when she was three years older and didn't have that chance. Duder was a thirteen-year-old bisexual boy, and he was obsessed with astrology. His make-up was flawless. Emberly was biromantic and demi-sexual. She was fifteen years old, and loved cooking. She said she'd be in charge of food for the whole summer, unless somebody really wanted to cook. Zazzalil and Keeri liked baking, and were appointed as her assistants. There was also Charlie, a grumpy non-binary 13-year-old, who was instantly nicknamed Chorn unanimously.

There was also Jemilla.

Jemilla was eighteen, pansexual, gorgeous, with great hair, great clothes, everything ! She was also incredibly smart. She appointed herself as the leader of the tribe, and didn't let anyone unpack before she called a meeting to organize the summer. If they were going to be left on their own for two months, with no adults except at the entrance, they should have a plan. Zazzalil immediately decided that Jemilla was kind of annoying.

* * *

 Everything was going well. Jemilla had appointed Zazzalil and Keeri to the supplies. Everyday, they had to walk over a mile to the main building to get everything they needed from the organizers : food, toilet paper, toiletries… They also brought the laundry back and forth to get cleaned. It was a long way, in any weather, but they got to spend time together away from the others, and it wasn't like their task was especially difficult.

On the first day, Duder found a duck in the pond outside the hut, and somehow managed to catch and befriend it. The duck spent most of its time inside, and Duder had grown very fond of him (nobody was allowed to call the duck “it”, it upset the teenager). The damn thing kept flying off on them, so they had to catch an other one. It changed colors, though, and everyone was horrified when Duder realized. Tiblyn half-heartedly exclaimed “It's because of magic!”. Duder, unsurprisingly, was very gullible. It also happened that, whenever the duck wasn't around, the internet stopped working. Obviously, they quickly had a song and Duder was renamed Ducker, the holy representative of the Duck amongst them. It pleased him very much.

Jemilla had also been renamed Peacemaker after she resolved a stupid fight between Smelly-Balls (who often complained he hadn't heard his real name in far too long) and Chorn (who complained as well). Zazzalil found it annoying. She didn't like all that attention and appreciation she was getting. There was something about Jemilla that bothered her. She didn't exactly know why, it probably had something to do with her bossiness and obsession with order and efficiency, but Zazzalil felt weird when the older girl was around, she wasn't herself, and she hated it. She's never been like that, she'd always been perfectly in control of everything. She had to be, really, with her father killed by the police when she was only eight, and her depressive mother who refused to get help, which only resulted in making the situation worse for both herself and her daughter. She was also deeply homophobic, which asked a lot of control form Zazzalil. And yet, with Jemilla around, she felt nervous all the time, which scared her.

* * *

 Jemilla loved this camp. For the first time in her entire life, she was surrounded by queer people, who all loved and appreciated her for who she was. None of them thought pansexuality wasn't real, or that she was just bisexual and trying to be special, or that she was just confused, or that she was going to end up with a man so it was fine anyway. The tribe all nodded and smiled when she told them. They were all okay with it, and sometimes Jemilla thought she might cry from happiness. She been waiting for this all her life, and there it was, in front of her. At last she felt like she belonged.

The only one who didn't seem to like her was Zazzalil. Jemilla knew that her pansexuality wasn't the issue, and she didn't understand what she'd done wrong. Sure, she had to push her to do her job every morning, and to get out of bed, and to put down her phone, but that couldn't be it. That wouldn't push someone to avoid you, to argue about everything, all the time. Jemilla tried so hard to be appreciated by everyone, and yet Zazzalil seemed to hate her.

Which was problematic, because Jemilla had the biggest crush on Zazzalil. Obviously, she was probably the most beautiful person she'd ever seen, but that wasn't really the reason. Jemilla just loved the way the younger girl smiled, the way she laughed, the way she raised her eyebrows to get ready to argue. She was funny, kind, smart, strong, cheerful, creative, and a really good singer. Jemilla just couldn't stop imagining singing cliché love songs with her, laughing with her, running her hang through her hair, caressing her cheeks, looking deep into her eyes, and kissing those perfect, perfect lips. She couldn't stop imagining going on ridiculous dates with her, holding her hand all the time, being able to call her 'babe', proposing to her with a song from a musical. All of that seemed so perfect.

“Thinkin' about your boyfriend?” a voice rang out behind her

Jemilla had to keep herself from screaming. She was all alone, sitting on a fallen tree at the edge of a lake, far away from everything. She thought nobody would come here. Yet there Molag stood, smiling smugly at her and coming towards her.

“So? Are you?” she asked once she was sat next to the girl, who shook her head in response.

“Girlfriend? Non-binary significant other?”

“I don't have one of those ...” she murmured

“But you want to.” Molag completed, her grin spreading wider on her face. Jemilla's throat made a noise halfway between a whine and a groan as she lowered her head. The elder woman laughed.

“Tell me everything.”

“It's … Zazzalil.”

Molag hummed approvingly, waiting for Jemilla to continue.

“She's just … perfect. And she hates me and I love her and I don't know what to do ...” she whined, extending the last word, dangerously close to sobbing. Why was she so emotional? It was just a crush, for fuck's sake. She shouldn't be so bothered by it all.

“Of course she doesn't hate you.” Molag answered in a comforting tone. “You're the nicest gal around. Everybody loves you. And I know she doesn't hate you. That girl keeps talking about you. You should hear her when she comes to get the supplies everyday! Always rambling about Jemilla this and Jemilla that. Keeri must be so done!”

Jemilla frowned, surprised.

“And it's impossible to hate you! You're the Peacemaker!”

Jemilla smiled half-heartedly.

“You know, back in my days, they called me the War Master! I didn't lead any _actual_ wars, you know. But it kind of was. A war for human rights, that nobody wanted to acknowledge because they liked thinking they were the good ones. My friends called me that, because I was always down to fight. A cop, an asshole, anyone trying to hurt one of my people. I got in trouble.” She sighted. “But it was worth it. Maybe I never got into anything as big as Stonewall, and maybe I wasn't in New York for the first marsh. But I helped young lost queers here and there, I spoke out, I tried my best.” She paused. “I got into fights.”

“I hate fighting.” Jemilla interjected. “There has to be a way to do thing without violence, right?”

“Sometimes when people don't want to listen to you, you gotta punch their ears open. It doesn't always work, but, after a while they started to understand. You know, I didn't _want_ to fight. I fought so you wouldn't have to. And now, we reached a point in this country where you can fight without violence. You can make things right your way. But it's because they listen. More and more of them are aware, now, that we're not monsters, that we're not demons, that we're not sick. But it took a while.”

Jemilla nodded in response, not knowing what to say. They stayed there for what seemed like forever, sitting next to each other, looking at the reflection of the sun in the lake, at the tiny waves that the wind carved on the surface of the water, listening to the sound of peace.

* * *

 Emberly hadn't been this happy in her entire life. She wasn't out to anyone she knew. Not even her parents, not even her siblings, not even her closest friends. To everyone she knew, this was a cooking camp. And she did cook ! It was her passion.

Two weeks after they arrived, she was in the woods, searching for berries, mint, or anything that could be made into food. The next day was her birthday, and she had planned to make cupcakes, one for each of the members of the tribe, decorated with their respective pride flags. This was going to be exciting !

Suddenly, she saw a teenage boy approaching a bush filled with gorgeous red berries. Horrified, she saw him reach for them. He had already put some in his mouth when she screamed. She ran to him, yelling for him to spit them out. He did so, confused.

“Don't eat that, it's holly!”

He gaped, horrified.

“You- you saved my life!” he exclaimed

“Well, not really” she mumbled “It's not dangerous if you don't eat too many, I just panicked.”

“Oh” he cleared his throat “Well, it's still very nice of you. I'm Grant!” he said, extending his hand. Emberly shook it, declining her identity, and they started talking about anything and everything. She told him about the cupcakes, he told her he was technically straight, but he was asexual, so his roommates didn't like him. Apparently, he'd ended up with a bunch of TERFs, and the kind of guys who wrote “no fem no black no asian” on their Grindr profiles, so he wasn't really having a nice time.

Emberly felt sorry for him. She'd been lucky! Everyone in her group was so nice and accepting! There was a large diversity, and she wasn't the only one on the asexual spectrum. It felt so nice, feeling understood. She wished Grant could have had that chance. 


	2. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three weeks in was Keeri's eighteen's birthday. It was an important one, and she was sad that she couldn't be with her family. Luckily, Zazzalil had planned the best present ever.  
> The only thing she hadn't planned, was Jemilla being a kill-joy.

 Three weeks in was Keeri's eighteen's birthday. It was an important one, and she was sad that she couldn't be with her family. Luckily, Zazzalil had planned the best present ever.

She had organized a party. Emberly would go all out with the food. It would all be vegetarian, and decorated with aromantic and asexual colors everywhere she could. All the others had worked hard on a beautiful banner, with cute animals drawn all over it (there were plenty of ducks, courtesy of Ducker), and had assembled the perfect playlist, with all the songs they thought Keery would like.

But the best present, Zazzalil thought, was the one she had planned.

She had brought fireworks.

Sure, she had never used fireworks before, and sure, she had no idea how to. But she was smart, she would figure it out. This was going to be the best birthday party Keeri had ever had.

The only thing she hadn't planned, was Jemilla being a kill-joy.

“No.” she had said, firmly, arms crossed.

“What do you mean, 'no'?” Zazzalil had answered, confused. “Why can't we use fireworks?”

“It is dangerous!” Jemilla had stated, taken aback by Zazzalil's lack of responsibility.

To Zazzalil's pleasure, everyone agreed with her. Jemilla tried to explain herself, but nobody wanted to hear anything. None of them tried to understand her point. They just wanted to have fun, there was no harm in that!

After two days of constant fighting, when there were only a few hours left before what they had dubbed “The Best Party Of All Times”, Jemilla started packing her things.

“If you want to be irresponsible, then fine.” she spat, furiously re-folding her clothes to put them in her bag. “I don't want to be a part of this mess, you can't say it was my fault when everything goes wrong!”

“Where are you going?” Tiblyn asked, pretending not to notice the tears that were menacing to fall from Jemilla's eyes.

“I'll find another group. Anywhere is better than here. You all hate me anyway.”

Before they had time to say anything, she slammed the door and ran away, disappearing amongst the trees.

Immediately, a huge smile made its way on Zazzalil's face. Keeri was on her daily evening walk in the sunset, and would be back before eleven, in less than twenty minutes. The small brunette turned around to face all of her friends.

“Are you ready to partayyyy” she sang. Cheers answered, and all of the members of the tribe started working to decorate the hut, or cupcakes, in Emberly's case.

* * *

 Jemilla tried to keep herself from crying as she walked away from the hut. They had been together for merely three weeks, and she had already managed to get everyone to hate her.

As her bags started to get heavy, she sat on a rock and let herself cry.

She had ruined everything. She had made friends with a group of awesome people who loved her, and she had managed to ruin that. They hadn't even tried to stop her from going away.

Zazzalil hadn't even tried.

At the thought of the younger woman, Jemilla felt a new rush of sadness. She had fallen in love with a girl, one who wasn't even straight, and now there was no hope left. She looked so happy when Jemilla had left. That smile had broken her.

She'd just tried to keep them safe, to keep them out of trouble. She'd just wanted to be sure they were okay. There was nothing wrong with that. Surely they all knew how dangerous fireworks were, especially in a forest, especially when you didn't know how they worked. How could they all be so blind ?

She'd just tried to do what was best, and it had brought her there, sitting all alone on a rock, as the sun slowly set and darkness engulfed her. She had no idea where the other groups were, no idea where to go, no idea how to get back to her hut in the dark.

No idea how to get over Zazzalil.

Just as she wondered whether she should start sleeping on the floor, a man approached her. He was tall, very handsome, and looked worried.

“Are you okay there?” he asked in a soft voice.

Jemilla just shook her head in response. After a moment, he picked up one of the bags and extended his hand. Seeing the puzzled look on the girl's face, he smiled.

“You're coming with me, we have room in our hut for a new girl. I'm Clark, by the way.”

“I'm Jemilla.” She answered, smiling, as she took his hand and stood up. She then wiped the tears from her face, took the other bag, and followed Clark into the night. She hoped he wasn't a random creepy guy planning to rape or kill her or whatever assholes did, but there was no one else she could follow.

* * *

 When she entered the hut, around eleven, content after a nice walk in the sunset, Keeri was welcome by loud cheers, the hut decorated with as much green, grey, white, black and purple as possible, and the smell of all of her favorite vegetables. Zazzalil jumped for a hug and planted a kiss on her cheek.

“There's only one hour left 'till you're old! Come eat!”

She saw the table, where eight plates had been arranged with quinoa, zucchini & eggplant spaghetti, and preserved tomatoes. It was her favorite food, her parents hated it, and only Zazzalil knew that. Keeri turned to her friend, who was smiling smugly, and wrapped her arms around her as tight as she could.

“Thank you” she murmured in her ear. Zazzalil only smiled wider in response.

Though they were unsure at first, everyone loved the food. Smelly-Balls and Ducker didn't like the preserved tomatoes, so they gave them to Keeri, who was delighted to have more of them. She complimented Emberly all along, and the younger girl seemed happy.

The cupcakes were beautiful, too. There were mint ones (Keeri ate most of them, because the others didn't like them that much), and violet ones (that everybody loved). They were soft and mellow, with deliciously smooth frosting, and Keeri thought she could never have enough of them.

All the while, Zazzalil's smile grew bigger and bigger as the evening went on, delighted to see her best friend's eyes shine so bright. She was proud of herself.

* * *

 At midnight, Zazzalil excitedly dragged her friends outside. Everyone knew about the fireworks, it wasn't a surprise, but they didn't know how much she'd actually brought. Keeri jumped around excitedly. She had noticed Jemilla's absence, but she had seen it coming, and had decided not to think about it for the night.

Zazzalil sauntered to the fireworks and, after fumbling with them for a little while, lit them, before running back towards the rest of the group. The first few went high in the sky, and exploded into gigantic bursts of colors, melting amongst the stars. Everyone cheered as the light reflected in their eyes open wide. The deafening sounds could probably be heard all around the camp, but they didn't care. They couldn't tear they eyes away from the sky.

But suddenly, a strange noise came from the pile of firework. They all looked down in time to the remaining ones burst before they even left the ground.

The explosion was louder than anything they'd ever heard before. It sent a wave of dust towards them, and they turned around to protect themselves from it.

Once it was over, coughing and panting, they looked around them in terror. Luckily, no one was hurt, and there was no damage, expect for two trees that had fallen in a resounding crash. They all looked around at each other, and at Zazzalil who, eyes wide, was staring at the place where the fireworks were.

“I- I don't understand” she stammered, looking panicked. “I did everything right.”

“It's okay” Emberly answered quietly. “Let's just all go back inside.”

They all nodded and went to bed in silence. When everyone was inside, Zazzalil pulled Keeri apart, looking nervous.

“Hey, I'm sorry I ruined your birthday.” she murmured, her eyes glued to the floor.

“It's okay” Keeri answered hesitantly. “It's not your fault.” She raised the corner of her lips in an attempt of a smile and climbed into bed.

* * *

They never mentioned the fireworks incident. For the next two weeks, they had fun. Without Jemilla's planning, they could do whatever they wanted all day. They mostly stayed inside, stopped taking walks in the forest like they used to, ate whenever they wanted.

They also started seeing the downsides of Jemilla being gone. She had been the one who cleaned the hut of all the dust and earth that they brought in, she had been the one who unclogged all the hair from the shower drain (and there was a lot), she had been the one who kept them up by making games and activities to keep them away from their phones. After two weeks, they started to notice how empty their tumblr feeds were, how much your head can hurt if you spend to much time on Netflix, and how much your body can be sore when you don't leave your bed all day.

They still elected to ignore it. They spent their days watching movies, TV shows, musicals, or random youtube videos. They read through entire tags on ao3 in one sitting. And they had fun. Maybe their whole bodies hurt, and maybe their heads felt like they were going to burst, and maybe their eyes were burning, but they felt freer than ever before, and they had no worries, and they wished it would never stop.

They threw parties almost every night, dancing and singing until they couldn't stand on their feet. The hut was a constant mess.

After two weeks, Keeri confronted Zazzalil. About the mess, the hair in the drain, the dust everywhere, how they had to tell the truth to Ducker because everyone was too lazy to go fetch a duck when the last one went away, and how Jemilla would know how to make things right.

“Why are you talking about Jemilla?” Zazzalil answered, furious. “Jemilla sucks. We're all happier now that she's gone, I'm a better leader. Everyone's happy!”

“You also used to be kind. But now you only care about yourself. At least Jemilla was nice to everyone.” Keeri whispered, her voice heavy with sadness, before she turned around and threw herself on her bed, headphones over her ears.

Zazzalil stood there, confused. She didn't understand why Keeri was mad at her. Sighting, she went outside and walked. After about five minutes, exhausted by the heat, she sat down.

Yeah, maybe things had gone south with Jemilla gone. So what? They had fun. They could live with dust and hair or whatever. It's not like they were dying. And who missed Jemilla anyway? They all hated her. Zazzalil certainly did. She did feel weird about Jemilla being gone, and she did feel that hole in her chest whenever she thought about her, which happened more and more often. Almost constantly in fact. But that didn't mean anything, right?

It wasn't weird that she thinking about her eyes, and her hair, and her smile, and how soft her skin looked, and how her eyes shone when she was happy, and how her lips curved, and how white her teeth were.

And how sad she had looked when no one had tried to stop her from leaving.

It wasn't weird how Zazzalil's entire body ached as she remembered that moment, how she was nearly crying at the thought of the tears that were just about to fall from Jemilla's eyes when she had looked one last time at the people she had called her friends. It wasn't weird how she now hoped she had kept her from leaving. It wasn't weird how she hoped she had taken her hand and pulled her into a hug and gently removed the tears from the older girl's eyes. I wasn't weird how she hoped she'd kissed her sorrow away.

Wait.

What?

No.

“What the fuck Zazz?!” she exclaimed out loud.

Did she have a crush on Jemilla?

No. She hated Jemilla.

Zazzalil growled at the realization.

She didn't have a crush on Jemilla. She was in love. She was head over heels for the girl, and she didn't how it had taken that long for her to realize.

* * *

As the sun started to go down, worried, Emberly went out to look for Zazzalil. She had been out for over an hour, and that wasn't the kind of things Zazzalil did. Not since Jemilla had gone and there was no one to force them to take the sun at least once a day.

As she went through the woods, searching for the red sweatshirt and the messy hair-do that Zazzalil had been sporting for the past three days, Emberly saw something completely different. It was a bright yellow duffle-bag, reflecting the last rays of sunlight. As she approached it, she saw the human carrying it. When she recognized him, she gasped.

“Grant!” she called “Oh my God! It's been so long! How are you?”

When he saw Emberly, Grant smiled wide, heading towards her.

“Emily! Embly? Can you just tell me your name one more time? I have very bad memory...”

“It's Emberly...” she answered.

“Emberly! Right! It's been weeks!”

He then started fumbling with the strap of his backpack.

“Um. I was wondering. Do you have any room left in your hut ? I'm just really done with the people in mine, they're really mean. So, I packed up my things and left and now I have nowhere to go?” His voice became quieter as he started rambling excuses and apologies.

“We do, actually! You can come with us, we're gonna have a great time!”

Forgetting all about Zazzalil, Emberly smiled and starting walking back to the hut, talking excitedly with Grant.

* * *

Meanwhile, Schwoopsie, Ducker, Smelly-Balls, Tiblyn and Chorn had been left alone without any of the somewhat responsible people in the group. The hair had completely blocked the drain, and the water couldn't go down. It was now all around the bathroom floor, and they had mopped up as best as they could (read : badly).

Obviously, it was at this exact moment that the toilet overflowed.

Zazzalil came back, desperate for advice, to a group of screaming teenagers as filthy water flowed out of the bathroom and into the living area.

“What the fuck happened here?” she screamed.

“Ducker just broke the toilet!” Schwoopsie yelled back.

“Ducker, did you shit all of this?” Zazzalil shouted disbelievingly

“It's probably been broken for a long time.” Keeri lamented. “Jemilla would have known how to avoid this.”

“Stop bringing Jemilla in this. Jemilla would have been as helpless as me! Do you think she can magically make the toilet stop spewing back loads of crap?”

“She would know how to deal with this.” Smelly-Balls interjected. Chorn grumbled approvingly.

“Jemilla made sure everything went well.” Tyblin murmured. “And she didn't almost kill us all on Keeri's birthday.” Everywhere nodded in response.

Zazzalil, taken aback, stood there for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. She thought they were over this.

“Yeah, that was a real dick move.” An unknown voice added behind her. Emberly had just entered the hut with a very hairy teenager.

“What did you do, Zazzalil?” the girl asked, looking scared.

“What, you think I did this?” the small brunette cried. “Who the fuck did you even bring?”

Before she could answer, Zazzalil dashed towards the door.

“You know what? Everything is my fault anyway, so I'm just gonna leave you in peace. Because that's what you want, right?”

She waited for an answer, looking at Keeri expectantly. The latter held her gaze for a few seconds before looking down, staying silent. Trying not to cry, Zazzalil slammed the door behind her and ran outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's probably gonna be only one more chapter. If I get really inspired out of nowhere, I might write two, but it's very unlikely.  
> I will try not to leave you like this for too long. I have shit to get done, though. I'll hopefully find enough time to be able to update tomorrow.  
> So, stick around for that happy ending.  
> Kudos and comments are very appreciated :)  
> Bye <3


	3. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zazzalil ran until she couldn't breathe. The sun had set, and the light of the moon and the stars gave the forest surreal colors, mixing shades of grey to the deep green of leaves and the dark brown of the trees and the earth. Zazzalil had never left the hut at night, and she was lost amongst the shapes of the trees that the darkness had changed. The wind blew through the forest, whispering in the leaves and howling in the old hollow trees.  
> Zazzalil wished she had had the occasion of having Jemilla's phone number. They could have made a Whatsapp group for the tribe, anything ! But now it was too late. There was no way she could see Jemilla ever again, and knowing that broke her.

Zazzalil ran until she couldn't breathe. The sun had set, and the light of the moon and the stars gave the forest surreal colors, mixing shades of grey to the deep green of leaves and the dark brown of the trees and the earth. Zazzalil had never left the hut at night, and she was lost amongst the shapes of the trees that the darkness had changed. The wind blew through the forest, whispering in the leaves and howling in the old hollow trees.

A squirrel ran close to Zazzalil, who jumped from the fright. She was all alone, in the middle of the night, lost. Her friends hated her, Keeri hated her. Jemilla was somewhere, far away, probably happy with a new tribe. Now that Zazzalil had discovered her feeling for the older girl, it was like they had taken over her entire body and soul. Her mind was invaded by the thought of her, and her heart ached, remembering that she would probably never see her again.

Zazzalil didn't know what to do or where to go. She had no idea how to get back to her hut, and no idea where the others were. Her breathing, still difficult after running for so long, felt too loud in the silence of the forest, and tears were menacing to fall again, joining the dry streaks that covered her face.

She decided that standing there wouldn't help, and that she should walk, no matter the direction. Taking a deep breath, she starting marching away, hoping that she would find a hut, no matter which one, and that they would let her in. After the heat of the summer days, she was unprepared for the cold of the night.

She wondered where Jemilla was. What had happened after she had ran away. Where she had gone. Whether she had found a new tribe.

Zazzalil wished she had had the occasion of having Jemilla's phone number. They could have made a Whatsapp group for the tribe, anything ! But now it was too late. There was no way she could see Jemilla ever again, and knowing that broke her.

As she kept on walking without a goal, she realized she could just call the organizers. She had their phone number, everyone had gotten it in case they got lost, or something went wrong. But Zazzalil didn't want to call them. Didn't want to tell them how everything went wrong. Didn't want to tell them why. Didn't want to acknowledge that it was all her fault.

Because it was, she knew it. She was the one who had driven Jemilla away, and who hadn't been a good leader, hadn't been able to do the right things and take responsibilities.

She had ruined everything.

Just as she was about to give up and call Molag, a voice rung out behind her :

“You look lost.”

Zazzalil turned around to see a man.

A very tall, very handsome man.

And she probably shouldn't stare so shamelessly at his abs, but damn, if she weren't so gay, she'd probably be very attracted to him.

“I am lost.” she finally answered, realizing he was probably expecting her to.

“What's your name?” he asked.

And maybe Zazzalil shouldn't give her names to strangers. For all she knew, he could be a random guy, who wasn't even part of the camp, and who had bad intentions. He looked strong, could very easily hurt her, and there was nothing she could possibly do to prevent it. She could scream, but no one would hear, she could fight back, but she wasn't strong enough, she could run away, but she was exhausted, and he would catch her in a matter of seconds. If he was a bad guy, she was screwed.

But he looked so kind, so genuinely worried about her. After all, she was standing in the woods in the middle of the night, her hair messier than ever, in gym shorts, old hoodie, and vans she had bought back in 8th grade. And he looked like he could be trusted.

“Zazzalil” she finally said.

After a second, his whole face changed.

“Oh, fuck no.”

Zazzalil frowned, confused.

“I've been hearing about you way too much. You're coming with me.”

And with that, he grabbed her arm and started walking.

“Where the fuck are you taking me?” Zazzalil asked, worried that trusting him had been a bad idea.

He didn't answer, but in less than a minute they emerged in a large clearing, with a hut in the middle. As they went towards the door, it opened from the inside, and a woman came out.

“Clark, who's that with you?” she asked.

Zazzalil stopped in her tracks and gaped. It was Jemilla.

Clark half-led, half-dragged her closer and into the light, and Jemilla recognized the younger girl.

For what felt like forever, they just stared at each other, not knowing what to say. When they came back to their senses, Clark had gone inside. Jemilla stood up straighter, cleared her throat, and raised an eyebrow.

“So ? Everything went wrong and it's your fault?”

“Hello to you to, Jemilla.” Zazzalil sighed. “But yeah, you're right, I fucked everything up.”

Jemilla grinned and tried not to laugh. Zazzalil growled, annoyed.

“We need you Jemilla. Please come back.”

“Why would I do that?” she asked, looking confused.

“I get it, we can't do anything without you. I've learnt my lesson, I'm an awful leader. Please don't make me come back there alone. I don't know how to deal with an overflowing toilet, and I really don't wanna call Molag. I don't wanna disappoint her.”

Zazzalil looked desperate, but Jemilla frowned.

“An overflowing toilet? Is that how you got here?” she asked disbelievingly.

“In between other things, yeah. But that's not my point. They all miss you, can you just come back with us? We're all friends, right?”

“That's not how it seemed when everyone chose fireworks over me.” Jemilla retorted.

Zazzalil sighed again, not knowing what to say.

“That's not what happened” she whispered. “We're kids, you know, we make impulse decisions. And-” she searched desperately for something to say, something that could explain why they let her go. “We didn't know what to say. One minute everything was fine, and the next you were gone. We didn't have time to process everything.” It wasn't a lie. It probably wasn't the whole truth, but Zazzalil had never really wanted Jemilla to be gone. Even when she thought she hated her, she still knew, deep down, that she wanted her to stay.

“I have new friends, now.” Jemilla murmured. For some reason, they couldn't bring themselves to speak out loud. It was as if only whispers could truly reach them, as if what they were about to say only belonged to them.

“They miss you.” Zazzalil answered. “I miss you” she added quietly, after a second.

“Please come back.” she whispered. It was the third time she asked. She didn't know what else to say. Didn't know how to convince Jemilla to come with her. She only knew that she couldn't leave her. Couldn't go away and risk never seeing her again. Couldn't leave knowing that it would be the first time that she would see her face and hear her voice.

The silence seemed to last forever, until Jemilla breathed deeply and started nodding.

“Okay” she muttered at last. “Let me just go and get my things.”

Zazzalil just stood there, not believing what she had just heard. Jemilla had accepted. Jemilla was coming back. Jemilla had chosen her over Clark.

As she followed her inside, Zazzalil saw everyone in the hut. They were all incredibly good-looking : there were Clark, a blonde girl apparently named Claire, you, a very young girl who kind of looked like Tiblyn … Everyone in this hut looked great, Zazzalil thought as she tried not to stare at Jemilla, it was unbelievable.

While Jemilla put her things in her bags, re-folding all of her clothes and organizing everything very precisely, Claire walked up to Zazzalil.

“So you're her, uh?”

“I guess ...” she answered uncomfortably.

“You'd better take care of Jemilla, okay? If you hurt her again, I'll make sure you pay for it.” the blonde said in a soft voice.

Zazzalil kept her gaze on Jemilla, terrified to even look at Claire.

After ten excruciatingly long minutes, Jemilla was finally ready to go. She hugged everyone goodbye and smiled at Zazzalil, walking towards the door. The younger girl grabbed one of the bags and took out her phone, lighting the way, and Jemilla imitated her.

They walked in silence, not daring to say a word, worried they might say the wrong thing, or give away their feelings for each other.

As it turned out, it took only twenty minutes to go from one hut to another if you knew where you were going. When they reached the place, they heard scream and cheers echoing from inside the hut. Terrified of what had happened to the others in the small hour during which Zazzalil was gone, they ran inside.

There, Emberly had attached her feet to bowls so she could walk in the large puddle of excrement on the floor, and was holding a mop above her head while all the others were encouraging her with war cries.

“How is there so much water here? An overflowing toilet doesn't produce that much water!” Jemilla cried out.

Everyone turned around and stared at her, surprise and chock visible on their faces as silence suddenly invaded the room.

“It's not just the toilet. The shower drain has a problem and the water from the shower got mixed with the water from the toilet. And now we're here.” Zazzalil answered to break the silence.

“Okay.” Jemilla said confidently. The straightened her back and took a deep breath. “Emberly, get the hell out of here. And give me that mop.”

The girl obeyed without a word, and they all backed away as Jemilla started working. She attached her hair, removed her hoodie, put her phone away to safety, and breathed again.

“Okay” she repeated. “Let's do this.”

First, she mopped up as best as she could. Water was still coming from the toilet, because the others had tried to flush everything back in so many times, so she cut the toilet's water supplies. Step by step, she removed all of the dirty water from the floor and the toilet bowl, muttering “gross” every now and then, until three full bucket were standing in the bathtub. Then, she put the mop away and grabbed a toilet plunger.

“Okay” she said once again, looking like she would rather be anywhere than there. She then started unclogging the plumbing, repeating “gross” more and more often, until it was punctuating her breaths. Once her job was done, she flushed once, watching as the water flowed down and into the plumbing.

“Why did I agree to come back here again?” she breathed out, looking absolutely disgusted as she turned to the others. She was met with an uncomfortable silence, and Zazzalil came towards her before grabbing the mop and some cleaning product.

“My turn.” she said reluctantly as she started cleaning the floor. All the while, Jemilla was emptying the buckets in the toilet and flushing the contents away, before washing them in the bathtub. Zazzalil took a sponge and cleaned the toilet bowl, inside and outside.

Once they were both done, they turned to each other, disgust visible on their faces.

“Gross.” they said at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gross.  
> My good friend Google helped me find out how to deal with an overflowing toilet. It is gross.  
> I'll be updating again soon (most probably before sunday, but I can't promise). Next chapter should be the last one.  
> Kudos and comments are very welcome here :)


	4. Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemilla turned around at the sound of footsteps. She smiled at the sight of Zazzalil, still barely awake, beautiful despite the lack of care she'd put into her appearance. Jemilla was beautiful too, wearing only shorts and a crop top.
> 
> “Aren't you cold?” Zazzalil asked to break the silence.
> 
> “No. It's warm over here.” Jemilla answered as she moved to the side of the rock to leave room for Zazzalil.
> 
> They just sat there for a while, sharing the bread and throwing some of it to the ducklings.

The next morning, Zazzalil woke up at dawn, and for the first time in forever, she didn't want to sleep in.

The previous night had been a happy one. Everyone had been delighted to see Jemilla again, and had apologized for how they had treated her before. She had simply hugged them all, a huge smile spreading across her face. It was already late, but they had stayed up and sat in the circle on the floor, holding warm chocolate milks close their chest while they tried to catch everyone up to everything that had happened in the past two weeks. A little before midnight, everyone had gone to bed.

Zazzalil had only slept a little over six hours, but she felt more awake than ever. Quietly, making sure not to wake anyone, she put on a pair of jeans, her most comfortable hoodie, and her beloved vans, and grabbed one of Emberly delicious buns before leaving the hut. She hadn't seen Jemilla's empty bed.

Closing the door silently behind her, she took in the comforting warmth of the rising sun and the cool wind lightly brushing her face. The birds were singing the first melodies of the day, and a bunny was walking around with five adorable babies. Zazzalil smiled, realizing how lucky she was to be able to spend the summer there, instead of being stuck in her mother's apartment for two month, only getting out to the unbearable heat of the ugly city she lived in. She wished she could just stay there forever.

She walked to her favorite spot : a pond surrounded by large flat rocks in a small clearing, where she went to take in the sun and rest. Only, when she got there, there was already someone.

Jemilla turned around at the sound of footsteps. She smiled at the sight of Zazzalil, still barely awake, beautiful despite the lack of care she'd put into her appearance. Jemilla was beautiful too, wearing only shorts and a crop top.

“Aren't you cold?” Zazzalil asked to break the silence.

“No. It's warm over here.” Jemilla answered as she moved to the side of the rock to leave room for Zazzalil.

They just sat there for a while, sharing the bread and throwing some of it to the ducklings. Trying to think of anything to start a conversation, Zazzalil said the first thing that came to her mind.

“So, how do you know how to deal with an overflowing toilet? How often does it happen to you?”

“It's the first time it has happened to me, actually.” Jemilla answered. Seeing the younger girl's confusion, she continued. “I searched on the internet about a year ago. I wanted to know, just in case it would happen.”

“You do a lot of things 'just in case'?”

“Yes, actually” she nodded. “I learnt how to write with my left hand just in case something happens to the right one. I learnt how to survive in nature just in case I get stranded on an island, or there's a zombie apocalypse or something. I've been doing self-defense sports and exercises to increase muscle strength for years, in case someone tries to hurt me or someone I care about. And for a while I've been thinking I should probably learn sign language. It could be useful, right ? What if something happens and suddenly I'm mute, or someone I care about ? Or just some random stranger, and I could help. I'm really considering it.”

“You're crazy.” Zazzalil said after a moment. Jemilla chuckled and nodded.

They stayed in silence for a few seconds, before the younger girl broke it again.

“So … I'm sorry you had to leave all of your new friends. They sounded great.” she apologized.

“Don't worry about it. You guys are great too.” Jemilla answered, pushing the other girl's shoulder lightly with her own.

Zazzalil smiled softly, screaming internally. She was too far gone.

“But Clark, though?” she finally managed to say, showing her best grin.

“What about him?” Jemilla asked.

“He likes you, doesn't he?”

“He does, yeah.” Jemilla murmured awkwardly. Zazzalil raised her eyebrows smugly, still grinning.

“I don't-” Jemilla sighed loudly. “I don't wanna date him! He's a great friend and all, but that it.”

“You didn't even consider it?” Zazzalil asked, looking doubtful.

“I did consider it.” the other girl agreed. “I mean, you've seen him : he's perfect. But I couldn't. I like someone else, and I don't wanna use him to get over her, you know? It's not fair.”

“Claire then?” Zazzalil asked, her grin growing bigger. She desperately hoped Jemilla wouldn't see through her question and guess her intent. They were just starting to truly get along, and she didn't want to ruin everything with her stupid crush.

Jemilla shook her head.

“According to Clark, she likes me too. But I don't like her either. Not like that.”

“She's gorgeous though” Zazzalil added.

Jemilla nodded.

“Schwoopsie told me she liked me, you know ?” Jemilla continued.

“Really? Is that why you avoided each other for, like, a whole week?”

“Yeah ...” Jemilla replied. “We tried not to, but it was awkward.”

“Everyone likes you.” Zazzalil laughed. “How come you're still single?”

Jemilla sighed, looking down.

“Not everyone likes me ...” she muttered. “Not the girl I like anyway. I'm pretty sure she hates me.”

“What?” Zazzalil snorted. “Nobody hates you.”

“You do.” Jemilla breathed out so quietly the other girl nearly didn't hear.

“I don't hate you!” she retorted. “You're the one who hates me.”

Jemilla frowned, turning to the other girl.

“I don't hate you! I'm fucking in love with you!” she cried out without thinking.

They both froze. Zazzalil couldn't believe what she'd just heard. Surely her brain was tricking her into making a move, or Jemilla didn't mean what she'd said. Meanwhile, Jemilla realized exactly what had happened and stopped breathing, her body curling itself while she waited, terrified, for Zazzalil to laugh at her, or insult her. She should have just stayed quiet. What was she thinking ?

“You are?” Zazzalil finally murmured in a weak voice, realizing she should say something. Jemilla kept her head low, nodding slightly while she looked away.

“Really?” The small brunette asked, unsure what to do.

Jemilla suddenly stood up, trying to hide the tears that were menacing to fall from her eyes. She opened her mouth and closed it several times, trying and failing to say something, before walking away.

Zazzalil sat there in shock for a few seconds before regaining her senses.

“Jemilla, wait!” she cried out, standing up and running after the other girl. When she didn't stop, Zazzalil grabbed her hand to keep her from going away.

The older girl turned around, looking down as tears rolled down her face. Zazzalil wanted to kiss her, but she wasn't sure she should. Instead, she took the other girl in her arms and hugged her close.

It's hard to comfort someone when you're shorter than them, but it seemed to work this time.

“I'm fucking in love with you too.” she whispered, trying to convey all of her feelings in the hug. Jemilla wrapped her arms around her, and they stayed like this for a while, holding each other like a lifeline.

* * *

 

Emberly and Grant had started dating three days after Jemilla came back, and they were very affectionate. They were constantly holding hands, hugging, kissing when they thought no one could see, and complimenting each other at every occasion. Soon, Grunt had a whole notebook filled with sketches and drawings and paintings of Emberly, and she had one drawing of him that was so much better than anything he could do that she didn't draw again. She had never really tried to draw before, but for some reason that drawing was beautiful. She tried to use cake-art as a way to justify it, but nobody was convinced.

On the other hand, Jemilla and Zazzalil started a game.

They decided that they would keep their relationship a secret, and see who would guess first.

It wasn't that hard, really. They spent a good portion of their days outside all alone. Jemilla brought Zazzalil into her morning routine : 30 minutes of running, 30 minutes of exercises (the lack of effort that Jemilla needed to do push-ups was highly annoying), and 30 minutes of stretching/relaxation/Zazzalil couldn't really figure out what it was, before breakfast, and a terrifyingly cold shower afterwards. Though it almost killed her, Zazzalil found herself enjoying the feeling of lying in the grass after a cold shower, feeling the soft ache in her legs and arms as Jemilla tried to help her understand maths.

Because they found another thing to do alone. Zazzalil had told her mother that this camp was supposed to help her get better at school, and she did need it. She wasn't especially bad, she just couldn't understand anything. She tried her best, worked more than people would assume, and still ended up with average grades. It was discouraging to never see her efforts be met with equivalent results. So Jemilla had said she'd help. She helped Zazzalil see the point of learning history, helped her enjoy reading, helped her understand the logic and reasoning behind mathematics. She couldn't do magic, but in only two weeks the results were impressing.

Zazzalil didn't know how she'd ended up spending the last two weeks of summer break studying, but she regretted nothing. Everything seemed fascinating when Jemilla was explaining it. Everything seemed okay when Jemilla was at her side. They had still never kissed, and it was okay. Zazzalil kind of wanted to kiss Jemilla. Sometimes she stared at her lips for several minutes, wondering what it would be like to feel soft lips against her own. But she wasn't sure Jemilla would want to, wasn't sure Jemilla was okay with too much physical contact. And Zazzalil was okay with that. It was enough that she got to hold her hand from time to time, that she got to brush their shoulders lightly when the talked, than she got to hold her in her arms when they lay in the grass, than she got to run her hand in her girlfriend's hair while she slept after lunch.

She liked the way things were. Liked the small “I love you” that they whispered occasionally, liked the way Jemilla's eyes shone with happiness when Zazzalil said something funny or understood something. Liked seeing her smile. Liked hearing her laugh. It was enough.

* * *

 

For nearly two weeks, they kept doing that, hiding away in the forest, exchanging subtle glances when they heard the others debating whether they should push Jemilla and Zazzalil to start dating or let things happen naturally, when they thought the girls couldn't hear. They all knew about their feelings for each other, had known for a while, but they didn't know they were dating. The couple had a lot of fun being strictly courteous to each other in front of them, trying hard to be discreet.

They let it all go on the last day. Everyone was at the entrance, saying goodbye to each other. Molag had made another small speech, and everyone had cheered in the end. Many children were being picked up by their parents, and it was Jemilla's case.

When a blue convertible stopped on the parking lot, she jumped excitedly. A sturdy man with a warm smile came out, soon followed by a tall woman with curly hair and beautiful blue eyes. They trotted over to their daughter, greeting everyone around. Jemilla extended her hand for Zazzalil to take, which she did, and they exchanged a small smile.

“Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend, Zazzalil.”

The woman gasped loudly, and her eyes lit up like an excited puppy. She hugged the two girls tightly.

“Finally, one of my children is dating someone!” she exclaimed. “I've been waiting for this ever since your brother was born. It's been twenty-one years, can you believe it? Twenty-one years and no girlfriend, no boyfriend, no non-binary person coming over. This is the best day of my life!”

“Honey, we've been together for twenty-nine years.” the man chuckled. “Is dating me that bad?”

“Babe, Jemilla has a girlfriend.” she retorted. “Nothing compares to that.”

“What about when _we_ started dating? Or our wedding day? Or when we found out you were pregnant with James? Or the first time we made love? That was a great day.”

“Oooookay we're leaving.” Jemilla said before dragging her girlfriend away. They were met with seven wide-eyed teenagers.

“You guys are together?” Smelly-Balls exclaimed. “Like, _together_ together?”

They nodded in response, smiling, still holding hands.

“How long?” Tiblyn asked.

“About two weeks.” Jemilla said, smiling.

Leaving their friends to freak out on their own, Zazzalil dragged Jemilla away from the group. They stood in front of each other, hands linked between them.

“My bus is leaving in five minutes.” Zazzalil whispered.

“You should go then.” her girlfriend whispered back.

“Don't think you can get rid of me this easily. I have your number now.”

They smiled at each other and hugged, keeping their arms tight around each other. They hadn't talked about after, had decided that for the little time they had left at the Tribe, they should be in the moment. They would figure out the rest an other time.

They let go of each other, squeezed their hands one last time, and Zazzalil climbed on the bus. She looked at the window and waved at her girlfriend, who waved back, soon followed by her parents and all of their friends. Keeri took a seat next to her, and the engine started.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so hear me out. I did say that this was gonna be the last chapter, and it can be if you want.  
> But, if you're motivated, you can read what happens next !  
> Basically, I'm gonna make this into a high school AU (technically Jemilla is old enough to be in college, but hey in some countries high school ends when you're 19, and I feel like this shouldn't be a college/uni AU. So it's gonna be high school. I never said this was gonna be coherent. What the fuck kind of summer camp leaves a group of teenagers alone in a cabin in the woods for two months anyway ? This is my story, I can write incoherent shit)  
> So. I'm busy until wednesday, but I might find some tome write. This is going veeeery off-track, but stick with me for more :) these gals are cute af  
> Kudos and comments are appreciated :)  
> Bye <3


	5. School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Zazzalil arrived at her high school after two months away, she was suddenly hit by the realization that this would indeed be her last year there. She hadn't had much time to think about it in the summer, hadn't really cared. Yet then and there, she realized. In a few months she would have exams, then she would leave forever. Then she would go to college. Then she would graduate. Then she would get a job. Then she would retire. Then she would die.  
> She wished Jemilla were there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I was busy! I still am, but less. This week is my last busy week, then I'll have more free time to write, and hopefully finish this by mid-July.  
> This chapter is a little shorter, and very dramatic. But I like it. Tell me what you think about it :)

When Zazzalil arrived at her high school after two months away, she was suddenly hit by the realization that this would indeed be her last year there. She hadn't had much time to think about it in the summer, hadn't really cared. Yet then and there, she realized. In a few months she would have exams, then she would leave forever. Then she would go to college. Then she would graduate. Then she would get a job. Then she would retire. Then she would die.

And maybe, if she was lucky, Jemilla would stay by her side all along.

Only three days apart and her body ached from the distance. She wanted nothing more than to hold her hand and never let go, to hold her in her arms, run her hand through her perfect hair. Zazzalil didn't even know where the other girl lived. She didn't want to, really, didn't want to know how far away she was, how much distance separated her from the girl she loved.

They texted a lot, almost constantly. When they had nothing to say, they just sent heart emojis back and forth. Zazzalil was almost disgusted by her own behavior. She wasn't the kind of person to use emojis, much less heart emojis, and Jemilla was the same. They had spent all their lives judging people who did, yet there they were. Zazzalil had no regrets. It was nice, just to know Jemilla was there. Laying in her bed for hours, doing nothing but press the same keys over and over again, waiting for the red symbol appear on the screen, she could almost feel Jemilla's presence. It was like these afternoon laying in the grass, holding each other in silence. Every once in a while, one of them would same something, and maybe Zazzalil couldn't feel the older girl's breath on her collarbone, but she could hear her voice, ringing in her ears.

Clutching her backpack, she walked, slowly, trying to stop time from running, trying to put as much distance as she could between herself and the moment she would leave this place and be thrown into the world, before the moment Jemilla would leave her for someone else.

“Hey Zazz!” a voice rang behind her.

She turned around to see Keeri excitedly coming towards her. A smile spread across the brunette's face. Seeing her friend made her feel instantly better. She hugged her tightly, like every year on the first day, even though they had spent the whole summer together. They walked together inside the building, making their way through a mass of students coming to see the lists of names on the walls. Holding each other's hands tightly, they scanned every list one by one, Zazzalil taking advantage of her size to push in between shoulders to get to the front.

At last Zazzalil found her name, in class 3. She anxiously looked further up the list, scared that she wouldn't see her friend's name, but she did see it. She turned to Keeri, who had seen it too, and they smiled wider, making their way out of the mass. They hugged tighter then. Maybe Jemilla wasn't there, but at least Keeri would be by her side all year. The rest didn't have to matter just yet.

* * *

Keeri and Zazzalil had barely reached room E210 when the teacher arrived. They hadn't had time to look around and see who was with them, and they didn't care that much.

The first thing the teacher announced is that he would be the one choosing who sat where. He had, in fact, already assigned seats the day before, at random. When a collective groan answered his words, he simply pursed his lips and took out a sheet of paper, before calling everyone in alphabetical order to check their information, and pointing to where they were supposed to sit all year.

Keeri was at the very back of the class, while Zazzalil was in the front. When she reached her seat, she set her backpack on the floor and let herself fall on her chair. She laid her arms on the table and her forehead on her hands. Keeping her eyes opened, she tried not to get too sad. This was her Spanish teacher, she would only see him three hours a week. The other teachers would surely let her sit next to Keeri, there was no point acting this dramatic. She should probably sit straight, and not be categorized as a bad student on the first day. She decided against it, closing her eyes and sinking her head further on the table instead. She would sit correctly when the teacher stopped talking.

The roomed filled slowly, it seemed like it would never end. There were only 29 of them, it could be way worse, but time seemed to pass by more slowly than ever.

She wished Jemilla were there.

As if fate truly wanted to make her suffer, the teacher called a girl named Jemilla, and told her to sit next to Zazzalil. _Great_ , she thought, _Now I'll have to sit next to a girl called Jemilla, and I'll feel down all year_.

The girl gently set her bag on the table, and pulled her chair quietly, sitting down without making a noise. Zazzalil could feel her turning towards her. _Please don't talk to me_. She didn't want to have to be nice to her. Didn't want to see her and remember that Jemilla couldn't be there, next to her, instead. She sank deeper into the table, further away from the girl, who really hadn't done anything wrong, after all, except existing too close.

“Zazz?” a voice whispered, softly, carefully.

In Jemilla's voice. Her Jemilla. Zazzalil raised her head in disbelief. There her girlfriend sat, her hand barely touching the younger girl's arm, looking worried.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Is it really you?” Zazzalil murmured is a small voice, not daring to accept that it was true, terrified that none of it was real.

“Yeah.” Jemilla answered, surprised. “Who did you think I was?”

“I don't know...” Zazzalil whispered. “A girl named like you, who walked like you, and smelled like you, and talked like you, and-”

She didn't complete her sentence, choosing instead to throw her arms around her girlfriend's neck. She closed her eyes and buried her face in her hair, breathing in the soothing scent of her shampoo.

“Is this a dream?” she asked, just to be sure, just to hear Jemilla's voice telling her she was there with her.

“Depends on what you call a dream.” Jemilla murmured, her arms wrapped closely around the other girl's body. “It's all real, but it's pretty much what I've dreamed of for the last few weeks.”

A smile made it's way on Zazzalil's face, mirrored by Jemilla, as they held each other, wishing it would never end.

“When did we get so sappy?”

“Don't know, don't care.” Jemilla answered.

The teacher closed the door and walked inside the room. The two girls let go of each other to face him.

“Hello students! Welcome to another year of high school. As you know, there are very important exams at the end of the year...”

He was interrupted by chorus of sighs and groans, and pursed his lips again.

* * *

As soon as the teacher let them go, Keeri ran to Jemilla and threw her arms around her neck. Zazzalil joined in, and the three girls hugged for what seemed like forever, their jaws hurting from smiling.

“I'm so happy you're here Jemilla!” the blonde girl exclaimed once they had let go of each other. “But why are you here? Did you move? Are you new in this school?”

“No, I've always been here.” she answered, confused.

“Us too...” Zazzalil added. “Does that mean we were in the same school all this time and I never noticed you existed? I highly doubt that.”

They stared at each other for a little while, wondering how they had never met before.

“Well, there are over two thousand and five hundred students here...” Jemilla said tentatively. “Maybe we just never saw each other at any point in our lives.”

“Makes sense.” Keeri answered.

“It doesn't matter, anyway, we're all here!” Zazzalil exclaimed. “I'll have my boo and my best bud with me all year!” She smiled smugly.

“What have you become...” Keeri whispered.


	6. Homework

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zazzalil took her chance. She leaned forward, just an inch, searching for an answer in Jemilla's eyes.

The week passed by, and with it the first classes. Class 3, they soon found out, had the best timetable and the best teachers of all the seniors. The people in the class, however, weren't the brightest. Jemilla and Zazzalil mostly kept to themselves. Keeri stayed with them as much as she could, but she was in a different group every time the class was divided, which was almost all the time. She made other friends, nice people, and she was happy.

Zazzalil still couldn't believe her luck. Out of all the girls at the Tribe she could have fallen in love with, she had found one who also happened to be in her school. It seemed unreal. She thought things like that only happened in fanfiction. She didn't complain, though, because Jemilla was there, and she wouldn't go away.

When the last class ended on Friday, Zazzalil sighed with content.

“Finally, we can rest for two days! We've only been back here since Wednesday, and I thought it would never end.”

“It's gonna be a long year, then.” Jemilla chuckled.

“Thank fuck you're here. I don't know how I would survive otherwise.”

They both chuckled, smiling at each other.

“You're not going to make all of this homework disappear, though. Three days was enough for them to drown us.” Zazzalil added.

“Wanna come over at my house so we can work together?” the taller girl asked.

“Are your parents gonna be okay with that?”

“Yeah, my mom loves you. My dad's just gonna be jealous of all the attention you're gonna get.”

Zazzalil snorted.

“Okay, then. I'm in.”

They smiled again.

“You guys are such clichés.” Keeri interrupted. “I hope you have a nice time working. I'm gonna go dancing! I haven't danced for real in nearly three months, I'm really excited!”

“You're a dancer?” Jemilla asked.

“Well, I want to be, so I've been taking classes for the pass 12 years or so.” Keeri mumbled.

“That's why you were dancing all the time this summer?”

“I guess.”

“Makes sense.”

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Jemilla and Zazzalil found themselves running in the rain. It had started with a few drops when they were on the bus, but when they got off it and started walking towards the older girl's house, it was already a downpour. It was a ten-minute walk and they hadn't brought umbrellas, so they started running, holding hands and giggling like teenagers. And maybe they were teenagers, and maybe it didn't matter, because they were happy.

When they reached the house, they were soaked through. Zazzalil didn't have time to take in the immensity of the house before her girlfriend dragged her up a flight of stairs and down a long corridor, before opening a door at the end of it. Jemilla's room was big, clean, organized, light-colored. It was like nothing Zazzalil's room had ever been, yet it already felt like home.

Jemilla opened a drawer and pulled two sweatshirts out of a delicately folded pile.

“We're gonna catch a cold if we stay in these clothes. You can wear this one.” she said as she tossed a very comfortable-looking red hoodie to her girlfriend. “It'll look good on you.”

“Thanks.” Zazzalil whispered, a small smile making its way across her face, as the taller girl also handed her a pair of jeans.

Jemilla tried not to stare at the smooth skin of Zazzalil's stomach when she removed her jacket and her t-shirt, or at the delicate red and purple marks on her thighs when she got out of her tight jeans. When the other girl tried to hide them, she resisted the urge to kiss each and every one of them, to make her see the beauty of them, to try and chase her girlfriend's insecurities away.

She thought it probably wasn't a good idea, especially this early in their relationship. Maybe one day...

She chased those thoughts away, concentrating instead on removing her own damp clothes to change into dry ones, unaware of the glances Zazzalil tried not to steal. She then sat on her bed, propping herself comfortably against her large pile of pillow and opening her backpack.

“You do homework on your bed?” Zazzalil asked disbelievingly. “I thought you were the kind who sat at their desk and organized their pens by color.”

“I do organize my pens by color, but I actually enjoy sitting on my bed. I've been on a chair all day, this is way better.”

“Well, I'm not complaining.” the brunette said, throwing herself on the bed and crawling up to her girlfriend to cuddle.

“Maths first so it's done and then sleep?” Jemilla suggested tentatively.

Zazzalil groaned, but accepted her fate, taking her notebook from her bag and stealing one of her girlfriend's pen with a mischievous look. The other girl rolled her eyes in response, and started working.

Ten minutes later, Jemilla's mother knocked and, after getting a positive answer, entered the room.

“Hi girls! Are you working well?” she asked. When the girls nodded, she raised an eyebrow smugly. “Really? Your dad used to say that, Snoogles, and God knows I'm not as gullible as his mother.”

“We really are working, mom. Do you wanna take a look at our exponential functions?”

“Not in this house, no!” she exclaimed with a horrified face. “When I graduated high school, I swore that I would never hear these words again. Don't ruin that for me. If you want to bring up demonic classes, I'm leaving. By the way, Zazzy-Bear, this sweatshirt looks way better on you, you should keep it.”

Before they had time to answer, she closed the door and walked away.

For a moment, the room stayed silent as they tried to process the jumble of words that had come out of the woman's mouth in one breath.

“So, Snoogles.” Zazzalil finally said, trying to stay serious.

“I'm sorry you had to go through that...” Jemilla sighed in response.

“Are you kidding me? I love your mother, she's awesome!”

“She's embarrassing.”

“You're an ungrateful prat. She knocked and actually waited for an answer. She's the only parent in the world who does that.”

Jemilla rolled her eyes and scoffed.

“Anyway.” Zazzalil said, propping herself up. “You said maths and then cuddle. It just so happens that we are done with the maths.”

The taller girl pushed their things away and opened her arms. Her girlfriend settled herself comfortably, and they laid on the bed, closing their eyes and sighing in content.

“Sleep well, Zazzy-Bear.” Jemilla murmured, planting a soft kiss on the back of the other girl's shoulder.

“Fuck you.” she answered with a smile.

Very soon, she was asleep, and Jemilla listened to her even, peaceful breathing. Her hand rested on the other girl's stomach, brushing her thumb on her soft, soft skin, breathing in the sweet scent of her apple shampoo, letting their heartbeats synchronize. Her mother showed her head through the door again, and smiled softly when she saw them. Jemilla pretended not to notice, so she wouldn't have to break the moment. The door closed again.

After thirty minutes, Zazzalil began to stir. Jemilla was almost asleep and wrapped her arms tighter around her girlfriend's body.

“It's late, I have to go home, my mom's gonna worry.” the younger girl whispered.

She was answered with a half-conscious groan, but her girlfriend stood up slowly, rubbing her eyes.

“Don't go.” she murmured.

“I have to. Sorry.”

She kissed Jemilla's forehead gently. When she pulled away, she locked eyes with Jemilla, and stopped moving, inches away from her face.

Zazzalil was terrified of eye-contact. She had always felt uncomfortable in these situations, hated how small and weak she felt when people looked into her eyes, even for a brief second. Hated how she could feel them see through her soul, but she couldn't see anything in theirs.

But in that moment, it didn't really seem to matter, because she didn't have anything to hide to Jemilla. She wanted her to see all the love she had to offer, wanted her to see how afraid she was of her girlfriend leaving her, wanted her to know everything that was going through her mind.

Jemilla kept her gaze, lost in the other girl's eyes, and parted her lips lightly, almost imperceptibly.

Zazzalil took her chance. She leaned forward, just an inch, searching for an answer in Jemilla's eyes. When she didn't look away, she moved an inch closer, and her girlfriend closed the distance. They closed their eyes when their lips met, their shoulders relaxing as their bodies moved closer. One of Zazzalil hands went up to Jemilla's hair, the other to her waist. Jemilla moved a hand to the crook of Zazzalil neck, and left the other on her leg.

It was weird at first, clumsy and uncontrolled, but soon they found their rhythm, moving their lips the same way and breathing at the same time, and they could feel each other smile through the kiss.

For what felt like forever, they stayed in their own world, kissing and kissing and kissing without an end. When they couldn't breathe, they pulled away, opening their eyes. Their cheeks were red and their eyes shining. And they smiled wider.

“You've no idea how long I've wanted to do this.” Zazzalil finally whispered.

“How long?”

“Since the day I realized that we couldn't survive without you, and I regretted letting you go, and I realized I'd been in love with you all along. And then we started dating, and I wanted to kiss you a little more. But I wasn't sure you'd want to, and I didn't want to push your boundaries, so I didn't.”

“That's really sweet of you.” Jemilla answered. “And, to be honest, I don't think I was ready back then. And when I realized I wanted to kiss you, I thought you didn't want to. I was okay with that, just a little disappointed, but ready to never kiss again if it meant I got to stay with you.”

“Me too.”

“I'm still glad with did.”

“Me too.” Zazzalil murmured again, smiling happily.

They rested their forehead together and stayed there. Their hearts were bursting with joy and love. If you asked anyone, they would say that the two girls couldn't possibly be together, that their personalities were too different, that they would fight and their relationship would end up in flames. But they balanced each other's flaws and completed each other's qualities, and they had found a way to get along, to avoid useless fights and express their love. Maybe it wouldn't last forever, but they did hope it would.

When they heard a knock on the door, they pulled apart. Jemilla's mother showed her face once more.

“Dinner is ready.”

Jemilla turned to her girlfriend, her eyes full of hope.

“Wanna stay for dinner?”

Zazzalil was sure she heard her girlfriend's mother whisper “Wanna stay forever?”. She nodded, to both questions. She did want to do both.

“My mother's probably no even home anyway.”

They got up and out of the room, walking downstairs to the delicious smell of a home-cooked meal.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I say I was gonna end this before the end of Pride Month ? well oops (Schwoopsie! ba-dum tss) (sorry) exams turned out to need more work that I planned. But it's over now ! (i'm not gonna say that they've been over since tuesday and I just didn't work on this until today) I've been doing the French subtitles on StarKid/TCB/Shipwrecked videos + drawing a lot (that's where all my creativity has been going), and it takes a lot of time actually.  
> But a couple of hours ago, I said fuck this I'm gonna write that chapter. So I set Without You I Don't Know on repeat (by Jim and the Povolos, Meredith is singing and I am dying it is so fucking good) like I did for the past two chapters and wrote.  
> And this chapter's not that great, but I kinda like it ?  
> Technically, I'll just add one more chapter, a smol one, and then move on to another Jazzalil Modern AU (I live for these). If anyone has ideas, please share them, I want to write but I don't have any idea ...  
> Anyway, I love the mom I created for Jemilla, and I love all of you guys reading this story, especially those leaving kudos and comments. You're the best !  
> Bye bye everyone, have a nice day <3


	7. 12 years later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We can do this.” her wife whispered reassuringly.  
> “Together”

Zazzalil was sitting on the couch, reading about the latest news on her phone. She was turning 30 that day, and boy, did she feel old. She knew 30 was young : Jemilla was 30, and she was young. It didn't make her feel any better, though.

She knew she wasn't a child anymore. She didn't have any doubts about that : she had graduated college, had a good job, lived in a small house at the edge of town (she didn't own it, she wasn't a Baby Boomer, but it didn't seem to matter), she owned a car, she was married, and she was pregnant. She checked all the “adult” boxes.

Heck, she was reading the news. Before she met Jemilla, she thought she'd never do such a thing. That was the thing : her wife had truly changed her.

She brushed her thumb on her round stomach.

“Your mama's old, baby” she whispered softly.

“Which one?” she heard her wife ask. She raised her turned her head, smiling at the beautiful woman who had just come through the door, wearing the fancy trench-coat she had gotten for her birthday.

“You're home late.” Zazzalil stated. “Went to see your secret lover after work?”

“No, I went to see your not-so-secret lover.” she answered.

She stopped for a second, trying her best to be dramatic, before revealing a box hidden behind her back.

“Birthday cake for the birthday girl!” she sang.

“Oh, no!” Zazzalil sighed loudly, raising a hand to her forehead in mock desperation. “You found out about my affair with food!”

They laughed and Jemilla set the cake on the counter, coming behind the couch to kiss her wife's forehead.

“How's Boop doing today?” she asked, liking fingers with the hand Zazzalil had left on her stomach.

“Excited. Kicked all day.”

“And how is my favorite wife?”

“I don't know.” Zazzalil chuckled. “Want me to call her?”

Jemilla hit her shoulder lightly.

“Well.” Zazzalil murmured. “I'm glad that Boop is coming in two weeks. I want to be able to sleep on my stomach again.”

“But that means we only have two weeks to find the perfect name.” Jemilla answered anxiously.

“We can do this.” her wife whispered reassuringly.

“Together”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this got out of hand, but I finished it. I could have gone on fora while, but I'm not sure it would have made sense, and I'm glad it's done.  
> Since the beginning I knew I wanted to end with them being happily married and all, but half an hour ago I thought "let's make one of them pregnant". So I decided it would be Zazzalil because 1. She wants to create stuff, let her create a baby, 2. Being pregnant would give her excuse to not do shit (unload the dishwasher, do the laundry, clean the house, deal with an overflowing toilet, anything), and Zazz is lazy, we all know that, and 3. Jemilla works in politics (obviously) and being pregnant kind of hurts your career (the patriarchy is at it again), so it would be better if she weren't pregnant, but she still gets a baby.  
> Anyway : I wrote this in around 20 minutes, it's ridiculously short, I haven't thought about it at all, I might regret some stuff, but fuck it.  
> I hope you liked this story. It's the first multi-chapter story I've ever finished (2016 me on ff.net did not think things through), and I'm proud of it! It's small and not really developped, but hey it's done.  
> Bye <3

**Author's Note:**

> I originally planned to write a long one-shot, but I really wanted to post this while it's still Firebringer week, and I'm not finished writing. I'll probably add two or three chapters. It'll probably be over in less than a week, but I can't promise that. What I can promise, though, is that it will be over before the end of Pride Month. (happy pride month everyone, btw).  
> So stick around if you wanna read that happy ending !  
> Kudos and comment for our favorite cavewomen ?


End file.
